Homer Simpson Tries to Kill Kairi
Back at the castle, Eris was sitting on her throne. She waved her hand while scowling at a fat, yellow-skinned man, and she said, "Take her far into the forest. Find some secluded glade where she can pick wildflowers." "Yes, Your Majesty." said the fat, yellow-skinned man, glaring at Eris before bowing before her and smiling sarcastically. He is a fat, yellow-skinned man, wearing a white shirt, blue pants, and brown shoes. His name is Homer Simpson, the huntsman. "And there, my faithful huntsman, you will kill her!" Homer gasped in utter horror. "But, Your Majesty, The little princess..." Eris stood up. "Silence!" she shouted, pointing at him, "You know the penalty if you fail!" "Yes, Your Majesty," Homer nodded. Eris held up an ornate box with a knife through a heart as its clasp. "But to make doubly sure you do not fail," she went on. "bring back her heart in this!" Later that day, Eris let Kairi change out of her rags and into her day clothes - a wearing a white top with a black one underneath, purple biker shorts underneath a purple skirt with a blue belt, white slip-on shoes with purple caps, a silver necklace with a silver bead, a black choker, a yellow wristband and a purple arm band on her left arm, and a pair of bracelets on her right arm. She sat down in a secluded glade, humming the tune to "A Spark Inside Us," and sometimes singing along as she picked wildflowers, while dreaming of her true love. The wind blew lightly, making her hair blow and making her look like a vision. After Kairi stood still, she then moved before she heard the cry of a baby bluebird. Kairi put her flowers down and went to the tearful bird. "Hello, there." She carefully picked up the bird. "What's the matter? Where's your Mama and Papa? Why, I believe you're lost." The bluebird started crying again. "Oh, please don't cry. Come on, perk up. Won't you smile for me?" Kairi asked. The bluebird stopped crying and began to laugh. Kairi giggled, too. "There, that's better." she smiled, "Your mama and papa can't be far." The bluebird started singing a little song before Homer walked closely to the girl. The bluebird saw her parents perched on the next tree branch, waiting for their child. "There they are!" said Kairi happily, "Can you fly?" Kilala let the bluebird fly out of her hands and onto the branch where her parents were waiting for her. "Goodbye," Kilala called. "Goodbye!" Suddenly, a shadow fell over the little girl. She turned around fast and screamed as she saw Homer holding a knife in his right hand. But nothing happened. He fell to his knees and grabbed the girl's skirt. "I can't!" he cried, "I can't do it! Forgive me! I beg you, forgive me!" Calmly, Kairi said, "I don't understand." "She's mad! Jealous of you! She'll stop at nothing!" He says wildly, letting go of Kairi's skirt. "But--but who?" Kairi stammered. "Eris!" answered Homer. Now Kairi was alarmed. "Homer?" "Now! Quick child! Run!" Homer warned her, "Run away, hide! In the woods! Anywhere! Never come back! Now, go! Go! GO! Run! Run! Hide!" During Homer's shouts of warning, Kairi began running through the woods. An owl screeched and dove at her head. Worried that the owl will explode, Kairi screamed. She ran and stopped suddenly when she saw eyes staring at her from the darkness. The eyes belonged to twenty bats. The bats screeched as they swooped down at Kairi, making her scream again. Kairi turned to run from the bats, but her skirt got caught in the branches of some trees. She screamed as she ran into the branches of another tree. Screaming once more, Kairi falls into a hole. She caught the root of a tree and holds on for dear life, but the root was wet and slippery. She slid into a pool of water. In the pool were moss-covered logs. Her fall created waves, which moved the logs up and down, up and down. When Kairi saw that the logs had turned into crocodiles, she screamed and ran out of the pool. A heavy wind blew, moving branches. Kairi turned in circles, staring in horror. With one final scream, Kairi collapsed, cold, wet, tired, and afraid, and started to sob. Kairi lay sobbing on the ground as the lights slowly turned up. A rabbit named Brer Rabbit slowly started to appear, along with a fox named Brer Fox and a bear named Brer Bear. The critters started to surround her, frightening her. But she hid it. Brer Rabbit almost went to her face, startling her. "Ooh!" Brer Rabbit ran away, acting very scared. "Please don't run away." Kairi pleaded. "I won't hurt you!" "You won't?" asked Brer Rabbit, "But I thought you were some stranger." "Yes," added Brer Frog. "I thought you were going to really hurt us!" Several critters peeked out of their many hiding places. "I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you, but you don't know what I've been though, and all because I was afraid." said the frightened little girl. "Oh, that's OK," Brer Fox smiled. "brer Rabbit, Brer Bear, Brer Frog, and I didn't know you were someone new." "I'm so ashamed of the fuss I've made." said the frightened little girl, "What do you do when things go wrong?" "I know!" cried Brer Bear, "When something bad happens to us, we sing a song." Kairi smiled. "Oh! You sing a song!" As Mr. Bluebird sang, Kairi followed suite, this time by vocalizing. Again, Mr. Bluebird sang, and Kairi vocalized twice. Once more, Mr. Bluebird sang, and Kairi vocalized for the final time. After Kairi vocalized, Mr. Bluebird sang again, this time off-key. Kairi giggled and started singing. Kairi: With a smile and a song Life is just a bright, sunny day Your cares fade away And your heart is young Mr. Bluebird chirped happily, and Kairi continued singing. Kairi: With a smile and a song All the world Seems to waken anew Rejoicing with you As the song is sung The critters are surrounding the girl. Kairi: There's no use in grumbling When raindrops come tumbling Remember you're the one Who can fill the world With sunshine One of the girl moles slowly scampered towards Kairi, who petted her before she quickly scampered and hid in the bushes. Kairi: When you smile and you sing Everything is in tune And it's spring And life flows along With a smile and a song As the song ended, Mr. Bluebird twittered as Kairi sighed with relief. "I really feel quite happy now. I'm sure everything's going be all right." Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, Brer Bear, and Brer Frog nodded. "But I do need a place to stay at night." The three mole girls nodded as Kairi giggled. "Oh, I can't sleep in the ground like you." The mole girls shook their heads before Kairi looked at some squirrels in the tree. "Or in a tree the way you do." Before Kairi looked at Mr. Bluebird in his nest, the squirrels shook their heads. "And I'm sure no nest could possibly be big enough for me." Mr. Bluebird only shook his head. "Maybe you know there's a place where I can stay," Kairi said sadly, before smiling. "In the woods somewhere?" "Hey, I know that place!" said Brer Rabbit, as he pointed to a cottage in the glen. Kairi stood up excitedly and clasped her hands together. "You do?" she asked hopefully. "Yes," said Brer Fox. "Now you will really have a home." "Will you take me there?" "Sure," said Brer Bear. "Let's go!" And so, off went Kairi, Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, Brer Bear, Brer Frog, and the other critters! Mr. Bluebird grabbed ahold of Kairi's skirt and start dragging her through the woods. Brer Fox and Brer Bear started pushing her along as well. They went through the woods, over a river, and along a path until they reached some small trees. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Snow White Fanmake Category:Snow White Parodies Category:Snow White spoofs Category:Snow White